Hmm. The good news or the bad news first? Well, the bad news isn’t that bad. It might not be bad at all. You can tell me, maybe.
Here’s the bad news.
The bad news is that I went for my regular checkup yesterday, and…….(drum roll) my baby is big. Large. She is perfectly healthy, she is in the perfect position for delivery, and she is very, very big. Not like weirdly big, just weirdly big for a barely-clearing-five-feet mom like me. If she gains weight normally between now and my due date, and I deliver right on time, she’ll be about 8.5 pounds. Maybe that sounds fine to you…but that is nooooooo joke. I’ve been dead set on delivering naturally, without meds, and, I mean….I need this baby to cooperate, and not be superhuge. At least she’s not frail or fragile or unhealthy. And I know I should be more grateful – totally grateful – for that. But all morning I’ve just been moping around, staring at myself in the mirror, saying “I’m sorry, body. As if it hasn’t been rough enough.”
So that was the bad news. I know, I know, I’m a pansy, and Superwoman would have popped out an 8.5-pounder in one sneeze. But the whole point is that I’m not her….yet. Talk to me post-delivery and I’ll probably sound like Leonardo DiCaprio atop the Titanic. But for now, I’m going to wimp out.
In other news:
I CAN GET IT. The work, that is. That wonderful volunteer work I wanted to be doing in criminal defense? TOTALLY HAPPENING. Monday, at 9 am. It’s all official and green-lighted, and I don’t think I’ve ever been so giddy to snag an internship. Because this one, besides being totally awesome, could…..maybe…..someday….transform into a JOB job. The kind that pays you to do stuff. And given how long it took me to 1. figure out what I wanted to do, 2. start doing it, and 3. get paid for it….I tell you, never again will I take work for granted. It’s a huge blessing to get to do something you love with your days. And to get paid for it….truly super.